I’m attempting to embrace a phase of enjoying casual connections. I’m interested in establishing some enjoyable, no-strings-attached FWB (friends with benefits) relationships. While one-night stands are an option, they often require more effort than I’d like. However, there’s a significant challenge: it seems like casual sex isn’t common among Gen Z!

At 21 years old, most people I’m attracted to who are around my age seem to be demisexual or prefer romantic relationships over purely sexual ones. Although I’m open to the idea of being with someone older, I’m wary of 30-somethings seeking younger partners on dating apps.

Could you provide some advice on navigating this situation?

First and foremost, It’s wise to be cautious of older individuals seeking relationships with someone your age, particularly when it involves older men. While my observations are personal, I haven’t seen many healthy, balanced relationships between men in their 30s and partners in their early 20s. This isn’t to say age-gap relationships can’t work-especially when it’s someone in their late 30s dating someone in their 50s-but at 21, you’re still developing. There’s often a power imbalance, and younger partners might not yet have the skills to establish boundaries and advocate for themselves as effectively as someone in their 30s.

Finding someone closer to your age, a fellow Gen Z member, is probably the best approach. Despite data showing Gen Z having less sex than previous generations, “less” doesn’t mean “none,” and there are exceptions-you’re one of them.

I’m curious about your experience with dating apps, especially those focused on casual encounters rather than serious relationships. Have you tried adjusting your app settings to only include people close to your age, and made it clear in your profile that you’re seeking casual FWB arrangements? This can help weed out those not interested in casual experiences. While this might attract some overly direct individuals, you can choose to only engage with those who respect the casual nature of FWB relationships without pushing for something more serious.

Meeting people in real life is another option, though it can be more challenging. If you have a sociable friend who’s great at breaking the ice, consider going out with them to a party or a bar popular with your age group. Let them know your goal for the night is to find a casual encounter.

There’s also the option of sex parties, though recommending them to someone who’s 21 makes me hesitant. I’ve met 21-year-olds at such events who feel comfortable, and I did attend my first one at 24, so I might be a bit hypocritical. Consider this a last resort. Start by adjusting your approach on hookup apps. If that doesn’t work, try meeting people at a college bar with your outgoing friend. If both options fail, then you might explore whether a sex party is suitable for you.